OK, so.... I don't update this thing. Because I hate LJ, and I love my Xanga. So I'll probably delete my LJ pretty soon. Not that many people read my LJ, and I have a lot more friends on Xanga.

So, after about a week or two, this is where you can find me:

www.xanga.com/AltoClariTone

this is from my xanga yesterday... i just wanted to post it here so i can save it in my memories.

"so, i went to an aerobics class tonight, as i often do. ok..... not often enough. i went to one i had never been to - cardio explosion. doesn't that seem like an unwise name choice? anyway, i have gotten QUITE out of shape since tour, even though i go to the gym about 4 times a week. it's a 55-minute long step class, basicly. it was 55 minutes of me stumbling around and being on the wrong foot and shit. seriously...... i am SO uncoordinated. i am amazed i made it through 2 seasons without killing myself or the people around me.

it was difficult, but that's what exercise is about, right? pushing through the discomfort? sound familiar? it made me miss corps a lot. i missed having sweat in my eyes and mouth. i missed having a salt line on my bra. i missed my muscles pumping battery acid. i missed feeling dehydrated and hot and irritated that i wasn't doing something right. then class was over, and on the way home i kept thing about what i missed. i miss silent meals during death camp when everyone is too miserable and exhausted to eat. i miss the pain in my feet. i miss the ear-bleeding screech of the dr.beat. i miss being forced to hold my horn up while garry fixes the trumpets, who are on the other side of the field. i miss pb&j, and getting pissed at having sloppy joes and BBQ all the time. i miss having crappy shows. i miss standing in the opening set at the beginning of a run-through in the middle of the day and thinking how i'd rather shoot myself in the face than do a run-through. when i take my shower in about 15 minutes, i'll probably miss the taste of salt in my mouth as the water first rushes over my face. when i go to bed, i'll miss how GOOD it felt to lay on that airbed after the hardest rehearsal of the year.

and i can't ever do any of that again. ever. it's over. and i'm just now really feeling it.

i never thought i'd miss the bad. but in a lot of ways, the bad is the good. cherish every moment you have left, even the moments you want to end.

all i have are memories, and i'm trying really hard to hold on to them. i'm going to write them down whenever i think of one, so i don't lose it. i suggest you all do the same. derek was right about memories - when it's all over, you can't get enough of them. remember, in columbia, when he made us turn around and look at jupiter? was it jupiter? or venus? didn't the moon look somehow different too? what did he even tell us then? someone help me out here, i can't even remember it! it was something buddhist about being aware of the moment. i remember thinking "i'll want to remember this moment for the rest of my life".... yet now it doesn't even come to me.

he was so right.... to all my friends who still have years ahead of them, promise me you'll always be aware of the moment you're in."

my family is getting very high-tech... they have an account on family.com, where they have their own message board, profiles, and photo album. i thought these pictures were really cool....



this is my papaw, mamaw, and i THINK her brother... maybe. i can't really read the writing.



this is my mamaw. it's a green dress. check out the old-school car.

so, we had a little party to watch the DCI ESPN2 broadcast. i know everyone has a lot of complaints about it... yes, the sound quality was awful. yes, they showed very short clips of shows. yes, the opening montage was bland. it bored me to tears. but the broadcast isn't for us, it's to serve as a drum corps primer for people who are brand new to the activity. so in that respect, i think it was pretty good. they showed little examples, explained instrumentation, explained the judging procedure, so yay for that. of course i wanted to see full shows, but they didn't even do that last year on PBS.... honestly, it was the same show, different channel. i'm personally glad the activity is slowly getting more mainstream, but i don't think the rest of the community is going to like the results of it. i'm NOT a purist... i don't give a shit about amps or the key of the horns, i think props can be pretty cool (if they're not sundials)... so i'm open to whatever drum corps becomes. i will probably always prefer it as it was when i marched, but what i like is not necessarily best for the activity. mike boo says it best - i think what defines it is the experience, not the instrumentation - so as long as the experience is in tact, bring on the change. and i think this broadcast is the beginning of some big changes.

there was not enough phantom regiment. but really.... is there EVER really enough phantom regiment? their musicianship is unmatched, year after year.

i wanted to clean my apartment tonight, but somehow i ended up watching a documentary on TLC about tattoos. and i started re-working my old tattoo design from a couple of years ago.... it's almost perfect. i finally incorporated everything i wanted (the moon, a compass, and a treble clef) and it looks uncluttered and classy. just a few finishing touches to go, and i'll start saving for it. now if only the artist i've chosen wasn't in west-fucking-lafayette.....

I adopted a cute lil' baby jesus fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!


I adopted a cute lil' tempura fetus
from Fetusmart! mm..yummy.

i'm staying at EIU.

applause, boo, whatever. i don't want to stay, but ISU is more expensive. an apartment for next semester would be 500 a semester, which is 100 more than the one i'm in now. money's only getting tighter since my dad is retiring, so there's no reason to make it worse. i just need to concentrate on getting out while i still have funding. then i'll take out a student loan, go to grad school, and figure out what to do with my life THERE. the plan for EIU is officially titled "Get The Fuck Out Of Dodge".

ugh. i hate being practical.

ahem.

i have been to the gym every day this week.

thank you. that is all.

so here it is. i'm leaving in a week for columbus, to start my age-out year. the next post in here will probably either be A) some sappy post about how, even though i didn't make finals, i still had the best age out ever... or B) how fucking awesome it was to age-out in finals. drum corps is the best and worst time of your life. so i'm kind of "eh" and kind of "yay".

go to dci.org to see the lineups and order tickets. yes, they can be purchased at the door, but sometimes you'll end up in a bad seat, esp. at indy.

the ones with the asteriks are the ones with a retreat.... meaning, i'll stay until the show's over, so you can hang out with me when we're done performing. now that they've elimated retreat, there's always a chance we'll bolt right after we perform.... and we miht not know that until the day of the show. so if you're coming to a show, you have to make sure i know you're there so i can make plans.

June 19 - Lisle, IL * (the day after my 22nd birthday)
June 20 - Evansville, IN (HOME SHOW)
June 24 - Rockford, IL
June 26 - Des Plaines, IL
July 1 - Normal, IL *
July 18 - Alton, IL
July 30 - Indianapolis, IN *

CALL ME AND LEAVE ME MOTHERFUCKING MESSAGES. it makes me happy. :) i get very homesick. if you're not coming to a show, at least call and say hey... i'll call back when i get time. 618-263-7676.

WRITE ME. i don't want to be the only kid in the corps with no mail. send me a package with junk food and mix CDs. we don't get many mail drops in the summe,r so it might be a week or more before i get it.

Capital Regiment
Attention: Del Benson
1444 Demorest Rd.
Columbus, OH 43228

the rest of the updating i do will be in my xanga....AIM me to get it. i'll see you all on saturday night.

love.

"...oh, and by the way, miss benson, you've been accepted to ISU. congratulations!"

:)

i got a letter today from ISU, and i thought it was my rejection letter. then i read it, and it said i had to mail in my transcripts. which i already have. so i called to straighten it out, and the secretary i talk to just randomly said that.

so it's official.... i guess i'll be in B-N this spring. i should start looking for an apartment. kyle, if you know anyone who needs a roomie in the spring, TELL ME. this means i'm going to be in school untli i become "that old chick". do i care? nope.

Current Mood: bouncy
Current Music: flogging molly - black friday rule

i have something shameful to say.

i think i need to see the dukes of hazzard movie.

yes, i know, i always say how much i hate hicks. and i hate the original show. but my parents are southerners, and i was raised in mt.carmel. so really, i'm obligated to go see it. and seriously.... johnny knoxville, jessica simpson, burt reynolds, willie nelson, and sean william scott? and how can i pass up jessica simpson's big screen debut?

ok, yes, proceed to laugh at me.